Too much spam. Too much BS.
Here's my new home: http://briankrans.tumblr.com/.
Thanks.
3.28.2010
10.29.2009
Be very, very afraid to laugh
So, a while back I wrote a few posts that have been getting some attention back in the ol' fair Quad-Cities.
The first was about a "sighting" I had whilst living in the City of Davenport. The second was that the person I saw "abducted" was someone shown on the Web site ZWatch.org.
Sorry for the three people that read this blog and the one person who actually believed this was real. Yes, me, Brian Krans, an author of numerous fictional work, created those posts to further a conspiracy that might bring criminal charges.
Seriously. Read the story by the tenacious and talented Quad City Times reporter Ann McGlynn titled, "'Zombie' event planners might face charges."
As I was accurately quoted, I called the event — a zombie pride parade in Davenport — "form of creative expression" and "an art form," "mobile, walking art" and "our version of 'War of the Worlds.'"
If there are criminal charges pending against anyone involved in the project, I will declare this now, and in front of a jury if necessary, I WAS PART OF IT FROM THE BEGINNING!!!
Was there a conspiracy? If by conspiracy you mean planning extensively by numerous talented individuals in search of a goal, then yes, there was a conspiracy. Was there a crime committed? That's for the lawyers and possibly a jury to decide.
We collaborated, we created, we confused a few people, we entertained even more, and hopefully inspired some.
Instead of people looking at a Web site searching for a missing kid — whose "family" didn't even know that much about him — and giving it a dismissive look, some contacted the police because, let's face it, some people are easily scared at even the slightest hint of something wrong. Then again, most people are smart, saw right through it as the ploy it was and went on about their lives.
So that's the end of it, right? Nope. The cops are involved. They're upset and charges might be filed against the few of us brave (read: dumb) to tag our names to such a project where no one was hurt, no property was damage, nor any liberty was obstructed.
No, really, this is what's happened to us. I really, really hope there is a God and he hates people without a sense of humor.
We can't take jokes. We take everything seriously. Everyone has feelings. No one should ever, ever hurt them. I'm guessing — and often I'm not good at that — that someone made a huge stink about the site once they realized they were duped into believing what was obviously a hoax that was ALWAYS intended to be an advertising ploy for a few parties in the Quad-Cities.
To those people: you should also seek the heads of Ron Popeil, the Sham Wow guy, the people behind the Blair Witch Project and Michael Bay. I only include Michael Bay because his trailers make me think the movies might be good when they never are.
I'll end this with a quote from the greatest philosopher to ever grace the planet at the same time we all did, George Carlin: "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
The first was about a "sighting" I had whilst living in the City of Davenport. The second was that the person I saw "abducted" was someone shown on the Web site ZWatch.org.
Sorry for the three people that read this blog and the one person who actually believed this was real. Yes, me, Brian Krans, an author of numerous fictional work, created those posts to further a conspiracy that might bring criminal charges.
Seriously. Read the story by the tenacious and talented Quad City Times reporter Ann McGlynn titled, "'Zombie' event planners might face charges."
As I was accurately quoted, I called the event — a zombie pride parade in Davenport — "form of creative expression" and "an art form," "mobile, walking art" and "our version of 'War of the Worlds.'"
If there are criminal charges pending against anyone involved in the project, I will declare this now, and in front of a jury if necessary, I WAS PART OF IT FROM THE BEGINNING!!!
Was there a conspiracy? If by conspiracy you mean planning extensively by numerous talented individuals in search of a goal, then yes, there was a conspiracy. Was there a crime committed? That's for the lawyers and possibly a jury to decide.
We collaborated, we created, we confused a few people, we entertained even more, and hopefully inspired some.
Instead of people looking at a Web site searching for a missing kid — whose "family" didn't even know that much about him — and giving it a dismissive look, some contacted the police because, let's face it, some people are easily scared at even the slightest hint of something wrong. Then again, most people are smart, saw right through it as the ploy it was and went on about their lives.
So that's the end of it, right? Nope. The cops are involved. They're upset and charges might be filed against the few of us brave (read: dumb) to tag our names to such a project where no one was hurt, no property was damage, nor any liberty was obstructed.
No, really, this is what's happened to us. I really, really hope there is a God and he hates people without a sense of humor.
We can't take jokes. We take everything seriously. Everyone has feelings. No one should ever, ever hurt them. I'm guessing — and often I'm not good at that — that someone made a huge stink about the site once they realized they were duped into believing what was obviously a hoax that was ALWAYS intended to be an advertising ploy for a few parties in the Quad-Cities.
To those people: you should also seek the heads of Ron Popeil, the Sham Wow guy, the people behind the Blair Witch Project and Michael Bay. I only include Michael Bay because his trailers make me think the movies might be good when they never are.
I'll end this with a quote from the greatest philosopher to ever grace the planet at the same time we all did, George Carlin: "I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work."
10.01.2009
Happy Sell Some Friggin' Books Month!
November might be National Novel Writing Month, but October will be my Sell Some Friggin' Books Month.
While my first novel/memoir might not be some teen vampire book — which we all know is an allegory for AIDS — it does have enough bits and pieces from everyone's college experience: falling down stairs, puking all over campus, irritating the townies, etc.
How many memories? ONE Magazine called it "a concise, thought-provoking and nostalgia-conjuring story of life during the impressionable stages of early adulthood."
So, if you haven't read it, you should really get on that.
Let's face it: living in San Francisco is expensive. I have books and you're looking for some cheap entertainment.
All you have to do is email me at briankrans@gmail.com with your address and how many copies you want. I'll send you my PayPal info and once I get $10 for each copy, I'll ship the books your way. FREE SHIPPING? Amazon doesn't even do that!
Sending it as a gift? I can include a nice or offensive inscription to your loved one (or maybe your ex- that you wish would just die). Either heart-felt or heart-piercing, I'll get your message across.
Support literature you bastards!
While my first novel/memoir might not be some teen vampire book — which we all know is an allegory for AIDS — it does have enough bits and pieces from everyone's college experience: falling down stairs, puking all over campus, irritating the townies, etc.
How many memories? ONE Magazine called it "a concise, thought-provoking and nostalgia-conjuring story of life during the impressionable stages of early adulthood."
So, if you haven't read it, you should really get on that.
Let's face it: living in San Francisco is expensive. I have books and you're looking for some cheap entertainment.
All you have to do is email me at briankrans@gmail.com with your address and how many copies you want. I'll send you my PayPal info and once I get $10 for each copy, I'll ship the books your way. FREE SHIPPING? Amazon doesn't even do that!
Sending it as a gift? I can include a nice or offensive inscription to your loved one (or maybe your ex- that you wish would just die). Either heart-felt or heart-piercing, I'll get your message across.
Support literature you bastards!
9.06.2009
I can't believe it!
This is getting really, really creepy. In my last post I described what happened in my neighborhood not long before I left the Quad-Cities.Somehow this blog got linked up with www.zwatch.org, a site dedicated to a missing QC man, Zachariah Furio. The site is now run by his brother Adrian, who in videos on the site investigated his own brother's disappearance.
The paper I used to work for wrote a story on the site that questioned it's validity and a reporter for the competing newspaper even suggested that I was the brother running the site. I will swear this with a Bible under my hand — I AM NOT RUNNING THAT SITE!!!
The most disturbing thing is that the picture to the left is of the missing guy, supposedly supplied by the QC Department of Biological Sciences. Never in my time in the Quad-Cities have I ever heard of such an organization, but I am positive of one thing — THIS IS THE PERSON TAKEN INTO CUSTODY THAT NIGHT IN DAVENPORT! Never, ever in my life have I been sure of such a thing.
Now I know that after years of covering trials that eyewitness testimony is the most unreliable out there, but I will never forget this face. Ever. This is the EXACT same calm face he was wearing when taken into custody.
No flashing lights. No cuffs. Masks and gloves? Is this the swine flu? H1N1, as it's known by is spreading everywhere, including 2,000 people on one college campus. This, according to zwatch, is the H1Z1. WTF is that?
Something is wrong in Davenport. There should be something out there other than unanswered questions for zwatch.org, a skeptical media because they're too lazy to look outside the usual channels, and a leak to a Web site that gets made fun or more than it is taken seriously.
If there's anything that makes me wish I had more time as a reporter in the QC, it's this. I was normally the one making jokes at the latest "panic" piece I was writing — swine flu, floods, tainted peanuts — but this is one of the few things that actually made me concerned. I doubt this photo is like that kid who cries blood.
All of the questions I was asking to my sources in law enforcement in Davenport have been met with silence except for one, which I will not name for obvious reasons. He's quit over this. To quote a voicemail message he left me, "Don't ask me any more questions about Furio. I'm out. I'm done." That was all I've got.
I'm glad I got out when I did.
8.24.2009
I don't know what happened...
This might sound kind of strange from my normal blog topics — as if any of this has any focus — but I have to share this somewhere and I don't know where else to share this.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not some conspiracy theory nut, but there were some things going down in my neighborhood in Davenport before I left. Since then, I haven't been able to get any good answers from anyone as to what happened.
Not long before I left there was what I thought was an arrest in my old neighborhood at the top of the hill. My neighborhood was no stranger to flashing lights and gun-drawn arrests but these were different. Normally, squad cars would fill the street with flashing lights and uniformed officers, whether packing handguns or shotguns.
I don't remember what night of the week it was, but it was a weekday. I was up late, per usual, sitting at my desk writing. Down the block a bit, I heard a commotion and went outside and stood in my front lawn.
At some random house — one of the few that didn't get the cops banging on their doors — about eight men were standing in the front yard. They weren't wearing any kind of uniforms or insignia other than blue jeans and black T-shirts. These weren't the normal undercover or vice cops seen around the city.
The most alarming thing about these guys is that they were all wearing blue rubber gloves and dust masks like these.
It's like the Swine Flu had suddenly become some black ops thing and these guys were the ones cleaning up. I saw them take someone into custody.
Whoever was inside the white suit they put him in sure was going calmly because everyone walked out real quiet like, got into a black van and left heading north.
Maybe this doesn't mean anything at all, but when I checked, something felt wrong. Any contacts I had at any law enforcement agency in the QC were of absolutely no help. Even the ones that would give me nuggets of info for stories didn't even so much as call me back.
No public records showed anyone being held at any of the jails listing that address. No police agency showed an arrest at that house in the recent past.
It could all be nothing for all I know.
Anyone who knows me knows that I'm not some conspiracy theory nut, but there were some things going down in my neighborhood in Davenport before I left. Since then, I haven't been able to get any good answers from anyone as to what happened.
Not long before I left there was what I thought was an arrest in my old neighborhood at the top of the hill. My neighborhood was no stranger to flashing lights and gun-drawn arrests but these were different. Normally, squad cars would fill the street with flashing lights and uniformed officers, whether packing handguns or shotguns.
I don't remember what night of the week it was, but it was a weekday. I was up late, per usual, sitting at my desk writing. Down the block a bit, I heard a commotion and went outside and stood in my front lawn.
At some random house — one of the few that didn't get the cops banging on their doors — about eight men were standing in the front yard. They weren't wearing any kind of uniforms or insignia other than blue jeans and black T-shirts. These weren't the normal undercover or vice cops seen around the city.
The most alarming thing about these guys is that they were all wearing blue rubber gloves and dust masks like these.
It's like the Swine Flu had suddenly become some black ops thing and these guys were the ones cleaning up. I saw them take someone into custody.
Whoever was inside the white suit they put him in sure was going calmly because everyone walked out real quiet like, got into a black van and left heading north.
Maybe this doesn't mean anything at all, but when I checked, something felt wrong. Any contacts I had at any law enforcement agency in the QC were of absolutely no help. Even the ones that would give me nuggets of info for stories didn't even so much as call me back.
No public records showed anyone being held at any of the jails listing that address. No police agency showed an arrest at that house in the recent past.
It could all be nothing for all I know.
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